When I think of the progress Aubree has made since we started this journey, I am beyond proud. But sometimes I have to think, how much therapy is too much? Don’t get me wrong there is no shortage of play in our lives, but still sometimes I feel like no 3 year old should have a schedule like this. Last year we had a total of 104 Aubree related appointments, that’s a quarter of the year.
It’s a hard balance to figure out which therapies are right for your child. If you’re seeing progress, why even consider stopping? The more I think about it the more I begin to feel selfish. Perhaps I am struggling with what I wish life looked like, what every mum has in her head as the ideal life, play dates, free time (ha) and naps (ha).
I think personal time with us being a family is equally as important as time spent in physio, but how on Earth do I squeeze that into our hectic schedule? Every appointment we have been given, and every appointment we have fought for are all ultimately to help her, she doesn’t understand that, and she doesn’t understand life any other way and that is both a blessing and a curse. I want her to be a child, I don’t want her to miss out on a proper childhood because we spent all of our time in various waiting rooms and therapy reviews. Some days I just want to be her mum, not a physio or a speech therapist or a nutritionist, just her mum, and that is what makes me selfish.
Being Aubrees mum means I am a million type of people all bundled into one confused person hoping I’m doing the right thing, my main goal is to keep her happy, all the while she’s smiling I know I’m on track. Special needs parenting: walking in uncertainty and trying not to trip over the “I don’t knows”.